DOWNTON ABBEY 402: WHO DESERVES A PUNCH IN THE FACE

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So it really isn’t any surprise who gets the biggest punch this week.  Yup, that’s right, it takes a rapist to knock Dad Crowley off the top spot.  That doesn’t really speak well for Robert now does it?  As much as it pains me to write about an episode in which something so horrible happened to Anna, it must be done.  So here we go!

*Anna is excused from the list this week, for obvious reasons.  She has been through enough.

20.  Lord Gillingham – You win the prize for being the best this week.  It’s a huge honor, let me tell you.  You are charming and smart and appear to be a good friend for Mary to lean on.  I know you would like more, so we will just have to see how this relationship develops.

19.  Violet – Humorous and compassionate as usual.  Well done with Tom and Isobel.

18.  Mary – I know it’s hard to move on, but you are doing better.  Plus, good job standing up to your father.  Question for you though…are you now only going to wear purple?

17.  Mrs. Hughes – Good job taking care of Anna.

16.  Daisy and Ivy – Not much happened this week with you two.  Daisy did take over the kitchen for Mrs. Patmore, so there is that I guess.

15.  Cora Crowley – Thank you for finally putting Robert in his place for something (and for punishing him by having him sit next to Dame Nellie), although you clearly can’t see all of his faults.

14.  Isobel – I know it’s hard to live in a world without Matthew, but it’s getting really hard to watch you sob each week.

13.  Bates – So, I know you were right about Mr. Green, but if you hadn’t been so childish about Anna interacting with him, maybe she would have listened to you more.  Further, your wife shows up at the end of the night with a beat up face and a new dress and you think she just fell in the kitchen, seriously?!  Come on, man.

12.  Michael Gregson – You saved the day and won everyone’s money back.  And, I think it was very smart of you.  So, I will only give you a small punch this week.  But, you are still becoming a German and you still shouldn’t be dating Edith.  Also, you are kind of whiny when Robert doesn’t want to hang out with you.

11.  Jimmy – See that is what showing off will get you, a hurt wrist.  Stop trying to impress the girls, they already like you.

10.  Edith – Stop being so transparent.  We know your want your dad to like your boyfriend, your dad knows you want him to like your boyfriend, we all get it.  Also, please still get a new boyfriend.  Thanks.

9.  Mrs. Patmore – You are stressing yourself and everyone else out for no good reason.  But, way to put Carson in his place for being such a snob about Alfred helping out in the kitchen and the kitchen maids going upstairs to watch the concert.

8.  Rose – You are such a silly, silly girl.  Yeah, maybe bringing Matthew’s stuff out of the attic wasn’t a good idea.  Also, continuing dancing after Mary clearly gets upset by what you have done, doesn’t win you many points either.

7.  Molesley – You may not deserve a straight-out punch, but definitely a slap in the face.  No one likes a pity party.  Can’t you see that people are trying to help you?

6.  Tom – You had a bad, bad week.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get the hell away from Edna.  You are showing very bad judgment and I don’t like it.  If you weren’t so nice to Isobel, you might have been even higher on the list.

5.  Thomas – You are mean to Tom and then throw a fit when you are asked to help out.  Stop being so childish.

4.  Carson – You are such a snob.  No redeeming act to help you this week.

3.  Edna – It’s not really surprising to find you at the top of the list this week.  You are needlessly bothering Tom, making him feel worse, and you get him drunk so you can take advantage of him.  Seriously?  You are a maid!

2.  Robert Crowley – You force an amazing singer to eat in her room alone because she is “beneath” you; you won’t listen to your own daughter Mary when she says she is trying to help fix the estate problems; you won’t try and get to know your other daughter’s boyfriend; and you are a horrible gambler who loses tons of money.  You suck.

1.  Mr. Green (aka the rapist valet) – Ok, so this could not have been a more horrific scene if it tried to be.  This man is pretty much the worst person on the planet for harming Anna (and then having the nerve to say goodnight to her and Mr. Bates afterwards).  He deserves much much worse than any punch I could give him.

**In addition to Mr. Green, I am lumping the Downton writers into this #1.  Seriously, we couldn’t have Anna happy for more than a second?  Her and Bates’s relationship has been full of chaos from the beginning, we don’t need any more.  Maybe you could have tried and stretched yourself and seen if you could make a happy couple interesting, maybe.  Additionally, I am not happy that it seems like this is just going to turn into the same-old storyline of “wife gets attacked, doesn’t tell husband, begins to shy away from husband (for good reason), and then marriage problems ensue.”  This is boring to watch and it is lazy writing.  The end.  (You can tell I am a little on edge about this, can’t you?!).

-LJ

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