I had a hard time with figuring out how much time had passed between last week’s episode and this week’s episode, but it is clear that there has been a time jump, even if it is just a month or so. After all, it has been enough time for Anna to figure out that she is not pregnant with Mr. Green’s baby, for Mrs. Crowley to have a new lady’s maid, and for Violet to stopping feeling so sorry for Isobel. It feels like not very much happened in this week’s episode, but it definitely set the stage for big things to come. Now, let’s get down to punching people.
18. Anna – You finally have “the talk” with Mr. Bates, even if you were forced into it. See, he wasn’t mad at you. I told you, he wouldn’t be. And, I appreciate the fact that you didn’t get mad at Mrs. Hughes for telling your secret. I see no need for a punch this week, since it seems like you still have bigger troubles ahead.
17. Sybbie and George – I still stand firm on the fact that you can’t punch babies, but Sybbie I am not sure that you have to worry about hurricanes in England. I shake my head at you.
16. Mrs. Hughes – Although you ultimately did the right thing by telling Mr. Bates what happened to Anna, it still wasn’t exactly your secret to tell. So, while things may have worked out for you, you still get a small punch for spilling the beans.
15. Alfred and Daisy – I am sad to see that Alfred didn’t make it into cooking school, but at least he tried. And, I am glad to see that Daisy helped him as much as she could. But, I was kind of hoping that Alfred would leave so that we could move on from this Alfred, Daisy, Ivy, Jimmy love-square that has been happening.
14. Mary – Mary appears to be back to her old self again, judging from her rude comments to Edith. And, it appears that she has changed her opinion of Evelyn Napier. At least she is no longer moping around.
13. Rose – Again, please get a storyline, thanks. At this point, I don’t see why you are even on this show. Oh right, to plan parties. My bad.
12. Isobel and Violet – I know most people wouldn’t agree that these two should be so far down on the list. But, I am beginning to feel like they just bicker because there is nothing else for them to do. Isobel, it is actually possible that the boy you recommended (who you don’t know at all) could have stolen the letter-opener. Violet, it is actually possible for you not to fight Isobel on everything. Remember when you were so comforting to her a few episodes ago? Where was that compassion?
11. Cora Crowley – You’re taste in lady’s maids is just so horrible.
10. Mrs. Patmore – How many times do I have to tell you that you can’t be so resistant to change? Eventually it is going to come back and bite you. Plus, I promise you that a refrigerator is going to be awesome.
9. Carson – You weren’t exactly kind to Mr. Mosley, but I also kind of think he deserved it (see below). So you get somewhat of a pass this week.
8. Mosley – Seriously, you get offered a job in the house and you have to “think about it?” I don’t understand what is wrong with you. While Carson was pretty mean to you when you actually came to accept the job, I also kind of think you deserve it. When opportunity knocks, you have to answer quickly. (yes, I really did just type that).
7. Jimmy and Ivy – Jimmy, when did you turn into such a d-bag? Stop picking on Alfred for having goals and dreams. And, Ivy, you bore me. Both of you get a punch.
6. Gregson and Edith – While Mr. Gregson only appeared in name in this episode, it is clear that he hasn’t written Edith in some time. This is not acceptable. And, Edith, are we to assume your doctor visit in London means you are pregnant? I will be very disappointed in you if that is the case.
5. Tom – I struggle with you. I don’t hate your plan for America, actually I think it might be good for you. But, you have turned into the most depressing character ever. Please stop moaning about not belonging. I am so over your internal struggle.
4. Lord Gillingham – Engaged so quickly. Clearly your love for Mary wasn’t eternal.
3. Thomas – Always up to no good. What are you plans for Baxter? And, what do you have hanging over her head so that she will agree to do your bidding? Tell me.
2. Robert Crowley – I understand that a lot of people are singing Dad Crowley’s praises this week for helping out the poor farmer with the dead dad, but that doesn’t earn you points with me, Mr. Crowley. I do appreciate your loyalty, but instead of trying to honorably persuade Mary and Tom to agree with your plans, you once again lie and deceive people to get what you want. And, you again piss away money that isn’t exactly yours I don’t think. While your intentions may have been good (although I am not sure that I buy that either), you methods are not. Punch.
1. Bates – Look, I know that Bates wasn’t completely awful this episode. He was in fact very sweet and compassionate towards his wife when he finally figured out what happened to her. But, the last scene with Mrs. Hughes, when Bates appears hell-bent on revenge is what did it for me. Dude, you know your wife doesn’t want you to go all psycho on the man that did this to her, so why can’t you just respect her wishes and try to move on. If you end up murdering Mr. Green and end up back in prison, I will not be happy. (If you can murder him and not get caught, well then, we can talk).