VEEP 308: DEBATE – BEST ZINGERS (and other great lines)

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Veep was back after Memorial Day weekend hiatus and so are we!  We missed you, hopefully you missed us too.  Veep this week focused on the always exhilarating presidential debate (I say that, rolling my eyes).  But, more importantly than the debate, Selina cut her hair and developed a twitch (I say that, not rolling my eyes).  Also, we learned that Dan survived his breakdown and continues to remain employed by the Veep’s office, although Amy has now taken over campaign manager duties.  Let’s get down to picking the best lines for the week!

**Again, remember, there is likely to be very very colorful language below. You have been warned.

8.  “I never knew you had so much neck. . . I mean that in a good way.  Necks are neat.” – Ben

7.  “You don’t have the facial gravitas for a beard.” – Kent

6.  “Just imagine that is what you will look like when you become a boy.” – Furlong

5.  “I did not need to be cured, Michael.  I diagnosed myself with an acute case of ‘everything’s fine.'” – Dan (personally, I liked the beard)

4.  “People don’t elect elves ok, they put them to work in grottos or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them.” – Mike

3.  “Go f*ck yourself Jack in the Giant Fruitstalk.” – Dan

2.  “What is it with you guys? It’s like flirting but sexless.” – Catherine

1.  “Of course I don’t f*cking like it, Gary.  It’s the worst use of scissors since failed my vasectomy.” – Mike

-LJ

VEEP 307: SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP – BEST ZINGERS (and other great lines)

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Veep was in London this week.  Selina sure is making the rounds.  In London, she managed to chug a beer, wear a huge hat, and, of course, get brutally mocked by the British press.  The most exciting turn of events, however, occurred when Dan had a nervous breakdown and got himself fired as the Veep’s campaign manager.  Well played Amy.  Here are my favorite lines from this week.

*As you should recognize by now, there will be colorful language below.

8.  “Her neck is like stretched cheese.” – Gary

7.  “I would like to shoot him, but there are no f*cking guns in this country.” – Amy

6.  “We are running some reverse My Fair Lady sh*t here.  We are showing she is a regular gal.” – Dan

5.  “Ray’s talking. . . . It’s like watching a goat trying to use an ATM.” – Ben

4.  “Wasn’t it Oscar Wilde who said, Dan is a f*cking terrible campaign manager?” – Mike

3.  “Jonah Bond.  Double-o f*ck off.” – Amy

2.  “The emu has landed.  Jonah’s in London.” – Kent

1.  “I need to be driven to the airport at Diana speed.  Just more carefully though please.” – Veep

-LJ

PS.  Here is your deleted scene from this week.

GAME OF THRONES 406: THE LAWS OF GODS AND MEN

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As I type this post I can feel the clock ticking.  The next episode of Game of Thrones will air in less an hour from right now.  Therefore, I will be typing fast and probably not very much.  But, in case you want to take some time to briefly reflect on what happened last week, let’s get to talking…

1.  Everyone is entitled to their day in court – Well sort of suppose this is true in the Game of Thrones world too.  Although before Tryrion’s trial even started, we (the audience) knew he was climbing an uphill battle.  I just don’t think we realized how low the Lannisters would get by the end of it all (see Shae).  I am fairly convinced that Tywin doesn’t actually believe his son killed his grandson, but we know that Tywin has never been Tryion’s biggest fan so I am not surprised that he is a willing participant in this debacle that is called a “trial.”  Further, Tywin doesn’t seem to mind that Jaime is called the “King Slayer” so I doubt his pride would be very much hurt if another one of his sons ended up being known as a killer of kings as well.  What I really can’t figure out is whether Cersei actually believes that Tryion is responsible for Joffrey’s death.  Because if she does, then she is clearly an idiot.  And, while Cersei may be many things–a power-hungry, adulterous, b*tch (to name a few)–I hadn’t yet took her for being completely stupid.

2.  Poor Jaime – I like Jaime, I really do.  And, I don’t know if he has just been clueless about depth of his father’s and sister’s vengefulness or what, but his face was priceless as the camera cut to him during Tryion’s trial. It was like he hadn’t really appreciated the mockery the trial would become (despite Tyrion’s warnings) until he was present at it and was getting smacked in the face by it.  I think Jaime’s best quality is his loyalty and he demonstrates it so well in this episode where he willing gives up his “life” (at least as he knows it) so that Tryion’s life can be saved.  This was truly a selfless act–something you don’t see much of these days.  Question though – How does Tyrion’s request for trial by combat going to affect Jaime’s deal with Tywin.

3.  Shae – Girl, the Lannisters had better have threatened your life or something because I cannot forgive you for humiliating and emotionally destroying Tryion the way you did.  I get that you are mad at him, but lady, you have taken the whole scorned-lover thing to a new level.  And, I certainly, don’t appreciate it.  Plus, not only have you backstabbed Tryion but you have betrayed Sansa (a girl that has done nothing to you).  And, that my dear, is low.

4.  Trial by combat – So, do we think Bronn steps in for Tyrion again or is Tyrion really going to have to fight his own battle this time?  I am not sure of the rules.

5.  Stannis is still boring as ever – I wish this guy would just go away.  I can’t find his storyline to be remotely compelling.  And, I can’t imagine that even the new financing Stannis has managed to acquire (by the help of Ser Davos) is going to make Stannis any more of a threat or any more interesting to me either.  Stannis along with Ramsey need to go to part of the Game of Thrones world where I never have to see or hear from them again anytime soon.

6.  It’s tough to be Queen – While I certainly think Dany has the abilities and the confidence to serve as queen of Slaver’s Bay and hopefully the Iron Throne (one day), she is definitely learning that ruling effectively takes a lot of different qualities and that it certainly isn’t an easy job.  It’s tough to be the one in charge and it’s tough to do the right thing, especially when there isn’t a clear right answer.  At least Dany seems to be taking her job seriously though and that is better than many of the previous men/boys that have sat on the Iron Throne.  Varys, you keep your spies out of Dany’s camp though.  I am watching you.

Alright, that is all I have time for this week.  What did y’all think?

-LJ

 

VEEP 306: DETROIT – BEST ZINGERS (and other great lines)

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In this week’s episode, I think that it became pretty clear that as bad as Selina is at being Vice President, she is even worse at running for president.  Add that horrible ex-Prime Minister from Finland and I think it’s not hard to see how much of a disaster Selina’s life has become.  Enough about the plot, let’s get to the best lines of the week.  (Obviously, I had a hard time picking).

*Again, colorful language will likely appear below.  Actually, it will most certainly appear below.

9.  “Where do you get your news from a guy on a horse?” – Amy

8.  “I wrote an entire sound bite and had the entire crowd in tears, even the police horses.” – Ben

7.  “In your country, people f*ck snow and I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect.” – Veep

6.  “I want Selina’s job announcement on every network. I want to hear the discovery channel say we interrupt these sharks.” – Dan

5.  “Yes you are going to a f*cking gun show, even if I have to put a gun to your f*cking head.” – Veep (great parenting Selina)

4.  “Mike, why would you send me this sh*t? You might as well have just sat on the f*cking keyboard and sent me that.” – Dan (slightly stressed at being campaign manager, I think).

3.  “The entourage is getting way too big.  We are only days away from an omelette chef and a piano tuner.” – Amy

2.  “This is really nice, working together as a family. I actually enjoyed the gun show.  Once I got used to all the regular people and how fat they were I really enjoyed it.” – Catherine

1.  “Jonah, come here. You know, sometimes I feel like there’s a nine-year-old boy inside you operating the levers.” – Mike

And, finally, let’s pause and reflect upon how awesome this shirt is.  Where do I get one?  You go Catherine.

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-LJ

PS.  I am going to try and start adding the deleted scenes from each episode, assuming HBO continues to make them available.  If you go back and look at previous Veep posts, the deleted scenes should now be added to those as well.

 

GAME OF THRONES 405: FIRST OF HIS NAME

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I know, I am super late in getting a review of last week’s Game of Thrones episode posted.  But, it was a busy week outside of the blogosphere.  My best friend got married this past weekend and I received a promotion at work.  That meant less time for blogging.  Since I am cutting it so close this week, again, it’s likely this post won’t be very long.  Let’s get to talking.

1.  So the big reveal – In a surprise for us television watchers, we learned this week that it wasn’t the Lannisters who poisoned Jon Arryn, but instead his crazy wife Lysa Tully at the request of Littlefinger.  We have always been warned that Littlefinger would do just about anything to get himself more power.  As Varys adequately put it:  “He’d see the realm burn if he could be king of the ashes.”  Now, we know for sure, that Varys is probably right.  After all, it was Arryn’s death that caused Robert to ask Ned to become the King’s hand.  This ultimately led to the death of Ned.  And, thus the entire war.  We also know that Littlefinger orchestrated the death of Joffrey and the “capture” of the Stark’s oldest daughter.  I don’t know what Littlefinger’s ultimate plan is, but he is clearly 10 steps ahead of everyone else.  Maybe his new crazy wife might be the end of him though.  Fingers crossed.

2.  Mother’s Day – Today is Mother’s Day, so let’s talk briefly about the mothers in Game of Thrones.  Dany, the mother of dragons, I think deserves the mother of the year award,  given that she has freed all these people (even if she does learn that the liberated cities of Slaver’s Bay have already fallen back into the hands of the Masters or other despots without Dany there to oversee their cities).  What is commendable about Dany though is that, unlike everyone else that seeks the Iron Throne, she appears to recognize that she has much to learn before she ultimately assumes that title and she has decided to try and restore order in the cities that have fallen apart since her liberation.  I can respect that.  Cersei will never win mother of the year, but she certainly is the best at using motherhood as a manipulation technique.  It will be interesting to see if she has swayed Oberyn to her side after expressing her love for her daughter that was sent far far away from her.  Finally, Lysa Arryn gets creepiest mother ever award.  Not only is she crazy, but her son Robin certainly is taking after his nutty mother.  And, is Sansa really going to have to marry that kid?  It’s time for Sansa to catch a break.

3.  The great adventures of Arya and the Hound – I am ready for something to happen with these two, aren’t you?  I really wish the Hound would start teaching her how to fight.  I am ready for Arya’s revenge crusade to start.

4.  Close but no cigar – North of the wall Jon Snow along with Locke descend upon Craster’s house and kill everyone (other than the women) in sight.  Let’s take a minute and pause to remember Bran overtaking Hodor during this scene and crushing Locke’s neck.  Because that was awesome!  Also, here’s a thought for you, if Bran can pretty much jump into the mind of anyone, is he going to be able to possess Dany’s dragons one day (assuming he doesn’t die first)?  I am a little bummed that Bran and Jon didn’t get to reunite, and I honestly don’t understand the whole point of Bran’s quest, but if Game of Thrones doesn’t want these two to be together, I guess I will have to live with that.

5.  Reunited (and it feels so good) – At least Jon got reunited with Ghost.  Thank goodness.

6.  The Iron Bank – I assume that all this talk of debt and the Iron Bank is going to become very very important at some point.  I just don’t get it’s significance right now.  Hopefully, all will be revealed, in due time.

What did y’all think?

-LJ

VEEP 305: FISHING – BEST ZINGERS (and other great lines)

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I am cutting it close this week with a posting about last Sunday’s Veep episode.  Apologies to “Put You Hangs Together” (if you listen to Doug Benson’s podcast then you will get the reference, if you don’t, then reevaluate some things).  Anyways, without further ado, here are last week’s best quotes (as expertly rated by myself).  Not surprisingly, Jonah wins again!

*Insert warning about colorful language below.

6.  “Passoword…mother_f*cker.” – Dan

5.  “How much would I love to speak my mind on this campaign?  Can you imagine if I did that?  Mississippi is chock-full of assholes.  I don’t trust the Chinese.  I gotta tell you something…I’m not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation that’s really gonna make any f*ck of difference in your life.” – Veep

4.  “People like Maddox always have guns on the walls next to the animal heads.  It’s like a flowchart for people who don’t know what firearms do.”  – Veep

3.  “Watching you try to be nice is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette.  It’s kind of cool, but also very disturbing.” – Mike

2.  “I’d rather be shot in the f*cking face than serve as vice president again.” – Veep

1.  “People like me, people hire me, people date me, and people f*ck me because I’m triple-A f*ckin’ awesome.” – Jonah

-LJ

PS.  Here is the deleted scene from this episode.  It is pretty great.

GAME OF THRONES 404: OATHKEEPER

GoT-S4E4-tommenThere were so many images to choose from for this week’s post, but I ended up settling on Margaery and Tommen because I feel like this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship between these two (and by beautiful friendship, I mean some sort of relationship where Margaery manipulates the heck out of the future King).  Also, I couldn’t use the image of the White Walker because it scares the heck out of me and I really can’t look at an image of Hodor at the moment without feeling incredibly sad.  So much happened in this week’s episode that we better get to talking.

*Full disclosure, I am writing this post on Friday afternoon before CJ and I are set to go out of town.  There is so much that we could talk about this week, but I just simply don’t have the time.  Blogging can be so difficult when you have social obligations… (please feel free to roll your eyes at that comment).

1.  Future King beware – From what little we have seen of Tommen* in Game of Thrones (prior to this season, Tommen’s character only appeared in 9 episodes of the series), it seems like the young future-King has led a rather sheltered life.  And, while I certainly appreciate the fact that, at least for now, he appears to be kinder and possibly more wiser than his older brother, I feel like he is going to be eaten alive (either by Margaery or his grandfather, or both).  And, look, I like Margaery a lot and I hate the Lannisters (as a collective family unit), so I am all for a little manipulation on the part of the Tyrells, but I feel a little bad that for this kid that has no idea what kind of life he is getting himself into.  It’s not easy being King.**

*Prior to this season, I hadn’t realized that they recast Tommen (mainly because I honestly couldn’t remember what the kid looked like…remember, we didn’t see Tommen at all in season 3).  My guess is part of the reason for recasting was to make Tommen look a little older so this whole Margaery/Tommen love or friendship or future marriage doesn’t look quite so creepy to the viewers.  Interesting tidbit though, the actor that now plays Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman) actually played a young Martyn Lannister in two episodes in season 3.  I had no idea!

**Let’s give a round of applause to Margaery for knowing the right way to manipulate this little King.  She doesn’t over do it, but instead becomes more child-like herself in order for Tommen to see her as hopefully a confidant and sort of his dream-girl of the future.  Nothing works better to manipulate a guy than getting him to develop a crush on you.  Well done Margaery, I appreciate your intelligence, your strategy, and your over gumption.

2.  Here are the things that I am concerned about after this week’s episode (in no particular order)

  • Summer and Ghost – Yes, my main concern is the direwolves.  Did you see how badly Ghost is being treated?  If you knew me it would not surprise you at all that I am most concerned about the dogs.  I can’t handle anymore dying.
  • Hodor! – Oh my gosh, they tied of Hodor.  I am crying on the inside for this lovable man.
  • Bran – I am not sure why I care so much about Bran because, let’s be honest, he can be kind of annoying.  And, I am kind of over this whole trick about being a warg.  But, I don’t want anything bad to happen to this kid!  I think it’s because I love the Starks and Bran is one of the last Starks living.  All the Starks can’t die, right?!  As for Bran’s friends, other than Hodor, I find them to be expendable.
  • White Walkers – Let’s get real, the scene at the end of the episode with the White Walker King (I presume) and the baby was terrifying.  I wish I could unsee his face.

3.  Jon Snow – I am trying really really hard to care about Jon Snow, mainly because I know (assuming this show continues along like the books) that he is going to become a bigger and bigger character.  Right now though, I simply just don’t.  Or, I guess I should say that I only care about him in relation to other characters.  What I mean is, right now I want Jon to go save Bran, Hodor, etc. from the evil former men of the Nights Watch.  As an independent person though, I can’t really say right now that I care whether he lives or dies.

4.  Dany takes another city – You know I love Dany, I really do.  And, I mean, I am all for her saving the world one slave city at a time.  But, I am beginning to wish that she got to do something else, ya know, other than saving millions of people’s lives.  Maybe this makes me a bad person.  Side note though – I did enjoy getting to know more about Grey Worm’s past and I do like this budding relationship he has going on with Missandei.

5.  Brienne and Jaime – Say it isn’t over between these two?  Why did Brienne have to leave Jaime in King’s Landing?  Brienne + Jaime forever.

Again, sorry for such a short post, but better short than nothing at all, right?

What did y’all think?

-LJ